NOT so Bad Boys, NOT so roaring Lions

Did anyone catch the Onion’s satirical Pistons article on November 16th?

No? Here’s the headline:

Pistons Lose To Elementary School Girls Team After Big Night From 4’9″ Center

That was before they lost to the Magic and dropped to 1-9.

Things have not gotten much better. The Pistons are now 5-11, and as I write this, are tipping off against the Grizzlies. I don’t expect a win in tonight’s game. The hapless Pistons are 1-8 on the road, the Grizzlies are 7-1 at home. I’ve seen better games from Globetrotter opponents than the Pistons this year. Come to think of it, I have seen better games between my 5 year old twins than I have seen from the Pistons over the last 5 seasons, and my kids cannot even dribble yet.

This certainly is not the Pistons I grew up with, the Bad Boys era, nor is it the team of almost a decade ago that shocked the mighty Lakers, which prompted a joke from a friend, who worked at a Michigan prison, telling the inmates that were Laker fans they were all on suicide watch. This team would be one he would put the Pistons fans on suicide watch over, and NOT as a joke.

Owner Tom Gores is “committed” to the Pistons, or so he claims. If he is, then he needs to let Joe Dumars off his money leash. They need to spend money to win championships. He needs to take lessons from a crosstown owner.

“Excuse me, Mr. Illitch? Tom Gores is on the phone, he needs help understanding pro sports ownership.”

Caption this photo.

I think the appropriate caption is “Oh crap that’s right, I can’t challenge a scoring play.”

What the hell was that Jim? You aren’t a first year coach. Granted it is a stupid rule, and (pardon my language) mad props to the NFL’s Director of Officiating Dean Blandino for immediately saying, even before the game concluded, that they would be fixing this rule. Still, the rule was just changed this year, it should be fresh in Schwartz’s mind.

Granted, that’s not our only problem.

Of our 7 losses, only two were by more than one possession, none were by more than 10 points. We aren’t playing the full 60 defensively and are letting opponents back into wins. We are 1st in the NFL in passing. Do you remember the last time the Lions led the NFL in passing yards? I don’t, it was that long ago. 1951 to be precise, when Bobby Layne led the league in passing for the second straight year, the same Bobby Layne who said the Lions wouldn’t win “for 50 years” when he was traded to Pittsburgh in 1958. He was right, one playoff win since 1958.

The Lions need to step it up defensively, play the entire game. Our running game needs to step up as well. We cannot rely on our passing game all the time. Miami tried that in the Marino years, and it never got them a championship, only heartache. We have the tools to win, we just need to utilize them. The playoff this year are unlikely; we would have to win our final 5 games, including games against the #1 seed Falcons, #3 seed Bears, and #5 seed Packers, plus have a few other teams lose a few games, just to get the #6 seed. All we can do is stay healthy, try for a respectable finish, and look to next year now, because there are too many ifs and maybes for the Lions to make it in this season. Not mathematically eliminated, but close enough. One loss will do it. How many 8-8 teams make the playoffs? Even 9-7 is no longer a guarantee.

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